The Hidden Cost of Ignorance: Why Bad Riding Lessons Can Kill Horses and Hurt People
Oct 18, 2025
Let me be brutally honest. I’ve seen it all.
Not just the beautiful moments, the sunrise rides, the quiet trust in a horse’s eyes, the way your heart syncs with their rhythm. I’ve also seen the ugly side of riding. The kind that makes you want to turn away, shake your head, and whisper, “How can this be?”
I’ve watched riders beat horses in the face, slap them across the muzzle, yank reins like they’re trying to break a stubborn door. I’ve seen people kick, pull, and punish their horses for something as simple as not moving fast enough. And the worst part? The rider doesn’t even realize what they’re doing. They think they’re “training.” They think they’re “disciplining.” But they’re not. They’re breaking something sacred.
And here’s the truth no one wants to hear: Horses are not machines.
They don’t need a manual. They don’t respond to force. They don’t learn through fear. They respond to presence, consistency, and respect. When you treat them like a tool, something to be controlled, shaped, and used, you destroy the very bond that makes riding meaningful.
I Wasn’t Always This Way
Before I wrote The Promise, I was lost. A doctor by training, a developer by trade, a man drowning in silence after a failed marriage. I didn’t know how to connect with anyone, least of all myself. Then came Kuzey.
He wasn’t mine by choice. I accidentally became a horse owner. But from the moment I first touched his bridle, something shifted. He didn’t care about my title, my income, or my past. He only cared if I was present, calm, and honest.
That’s when I learned: You can’t ride a horse without first learning to ride yourself.
But I didn’t start out wise. I made mistakes. I thought I could “fix” him with pressure. I tried to dominate him. And he responded, not with obedience, but with resistance, fear, and shutdown.
That’s when I stopped. I stepped back. I read. I studied. I listened to real masters. I realized that the people who claim to “train” horses with violence aren’t trainers. They’re bullies. And their horses pay the price.
The Real Cost of Bad Training
Let’s talk about the hidden cost of ignorance. It’s not just about bad riding, it’s about broken lives. Both human and equine.
Why do so many riders fail to see the damage they cause?
Because they’ve never been taught. They’ve never asked the right questions. They’ve never looked beyond the surface. They’ve been sold a lie: “If you’re not tough, the horse will take over.” That’s not true. Horses don’t want to “take over.” They want to belong. They want to be part of a herd. They look to us, not as tyrants, but as leaders who are steady, fair, and consistent.
When you use fear, you don’t gain control. You gain chaos. You create a horse who is afraid to move, afraid to try, afraid to trust. That’s not discipline. That’s trauma.
What happens when a horse is trained with force?
I’ve seen horses develop chronic injuries, back pain, lameness, joint damage, because of poor riding techniques. I’ve seen horses become aggressive, fearful, or shut down completely. One horse I knew started bucking uncontrollably every time the rider mounted. Not because he was “bad.” Because he’d been kicked repeatedly. His body remembered. His mind screamed.
And then there’s the emotional toll on the rider. They blame the horse. “He’s spooky.” “He’s lazy.” “He’s not trainable.” But the truth? The horse is reacting to you. To your lack of clarity, your inconsistency, your fear. He’s mirroring your inner state.
Why do people keep doing this?
Because they don’t know any better. Because they were taught by someone else who didn’t know any better. Because they’re chasing trophies, not connection. Because they’re selling broken horses like they’re new.
The Saddle Scam (Yes, That’s a Thing)
You ever see a beginner rider with a saddle so heavy it could double as a gym weight? Yeah. That’s not an accident.
Some “trainers” sell you the heaviest, most outdated tack possible, all while telling you it’s “traditional,” or “the best for learning.” Spoiler: It’s not. That 8kg saddle? It’s not helping you ride better. It’s not helping the horse either. It’s just another way to make money off someone who doesn’t know any better.
And the worst part? The rider doesn’t even realize how bad they look. Hands moving like they’re trying to swat flies mid-gallop. Yet somehow, they’re the ones giving lessons.
Real riding? It’s about balance. Control. Feel. A horse telling you he is being steered by a good rider. What they teach? But what they teach!
Selling Broken Horses Like They’re New
This one really gets under my skin.
A horse has injuries. Medical history longer than a novel. Leg issues. Back problems. But sure, they just tell the buyer it’s “perfect for trail rides.” Because that’s honest. That’s ethical.
No. It’s not.
It’s exploitation. It’s cruelty. It’s murder disguised as business.
I’ve seen horses die too young because they were pushed beyond their limits. I’ve seen owners walk away, heartbroken, realizing too late that their horse was already broken before they bought him.
And the worst part? The person who sold it didn’t care. They just wanted the money.
The Ripple Effect of Bad Riding
When a rider uses fear, the damage spreads. The horse becomes unpredictable. He might bolt. He might rear. He might refuse to move. And then the rider blames the horse. “He’s bad.” “He’s not right for me.”
No. The horse is perfect. It’s the handler who’s broken.
And when a horse is trained this way, it’s not just his behavior that suffers, it’s his mental health. His spirit. His ability to thrive.
I’ve seen horses lose their spark. Their joy. Their willingness. And once that’s gone, it’s nearly impossible to bring back. Because trust, once broken, takes years to rebuild.
So What Can You Do?
Here are 7 recommendations based on what I’ve learned, from pain, from failure, from watching others suffer:
Ask Questions Before You Buy
“Where did you get this horse?”
“What’s his medical history?”
“Has he had any behavioral issues?”
Check the Tack
Is the saddle too heavy? Too old?
Does it fit the horse properly?
If it’s not comfortable for the horse, it’s not safe.
Observe the Trainer
Do they use force? Punishment?
Are they patient? Consistent? Calm?
Can they explain why they do what they do?
Never Ride Without Purpose
Unplanned riding leads nowhere.
Every session should have a goal, balance, focus, transition, connection.
Build Trust First
Spend time grooming. Walking. Just sitting.
Let your horse know you’re safe. You’re honest. You’re present.
Learn from Real Experts
Read books. Watch science-based videos. Attend workshops.
Ask for sources. Real knowledge isn’t hidden, it’s shared.
Protect Your Horse’s Topline
Poor riding kills posture.
A hollow-backed horse is often a sign of bad riding, not bad genetics.
Final Thought
Horses are not machines. They are not tools. They are not commodities.
They are living, breathing, feeling beings, capable of love, loyalty, and deep connection.
To ride them is not a right. It’s a privilege. One earned through patience, consistency, and humility.
And if you want to understand what this really means, if you want to learn how to ride with integrity, purpose, and compassion, then you need to read The Promise.
This book isn’t just for experienced riders. It’s for anyone who wants to do better. To be better. To honor the horse as he deserves.
Because when we stop seeing horses as tools and start seeing them as equals, we don’t just become better riders, we become better humans.
And that’s the promise I made. To Kuzey. To my son. To myself.
Now, it’s yours to keep.